Nosferatu review

Getting my review of Nosferatu published in The Skateboarder's journal! Here it is as it will appear, "knarly, amusing yet informative" (I'd like to think so anyway).

Nosferatu Review

For those of you unfamiliar with the 1921 ‘symphony of horror’ Nosferatu, effectively it’s an unauthorised silent film version of Bram Stoker’s ‘Dracula’, directed by the legendary F.W. Murnau in five ‘acts’ with locations and character names changed for legal purposes. If you haven’t watched the film then there would be at least one scene you may remember seeing somewhere, somehow; an eerie mysteriously cast shadow glides up a staircase, shoulders hunched, weird ass pointy fingers outstretched as it enters a room where a woman awaits, startled upright in bed…. Ring a bell at all?

If you’re still in the dark regarding the actual plot of the film I’ll break in down for you as follows: Flatulent real estate solicitor Hutter is sent out by his horrible little cunty money grabbing real estate boss, Knock, to the Transylvanian mountain to negotiate the sale of a barely standing warehouse in the fictitious town of Wisborg to the reclusive Count Orlok, played to genius effect by Max Schreck. The foppish Hutton finds ‘The Book of Vampires’ in an Inn close to Orlok’s castle and starts to read. Once he meets Orlok he takes in the Count’s AIDS badger-like complexion, rat like features, ever so slightly creepy interest in a picture of Mrs Hutton (particularly her long lady neck), coffin based sleeping habits, over zealous interest in blood, etc. etc., and he’s immediately on edge. He does the math, comes over all Columbo and realises that two plus two equals the bitey ‘Nosferatu’ as mentioned in the book…. Phew! The Count, who’s got the horn for some lovely long lady neck fast tracks his move, locking Hutton in his castle for good measure; cue vampire related action galore as Hutton and Orlok immediately engage in a race against time across Europe to save Wisborg and the lovely long lady neck of Mrs Hutton! Hutton on land Orlok by sea…

Essentially the film has been digitally restored visually to good effect (as much as it could be) and the haunting, atmospheric score re-recorded in Dolby 5.1 surround sound. Being a 1921 silent film it’s as kitsch and camp as you’d expect, however it does offer up some pretty kick ass suspense that stands the test of time. It’s really the score that dictates the pace of the film and as the tension builds, from act III especially, the music proves paramount in lending the film it’s dramatic pace, with its pacey, rolling drums and theatrical use of wind instruments. Being that the last horror film I watched was Raimi’s gloriously ridiculous ‘Drag me to Hell’ it was great to get back to the roots of horror by revisiting Nosferatu. Murnau was famed for his dramatic use of light and shadow, and it is in the scenes featuring Count Orlock we see this best demonstrated; particularly in the iconic staircase scene. It’s cool to watch the film that probably gave birth to that dramatic technique. A technique that Raimi uses a lot in ‘Drag me to hell’, to similar effect.

Act four of the film probably gives the film it’s funniest scene as the Count departs the boat in Wisborg and after a long trip sucking off sailors (scuse the pun) ‘inconspicuously’ creeps across town in a jaunty, gangly and fucking perverted fashion, coffin under arm to his new abode, the deserted warehouse; which, low and behold is directly across the canal from the Hutton’s, and more importantly Ellen Hutton and her sexy ass neck…. Cue deaths galore as the Count aka Nosferatu aka Kim Basinger’s finger double literally plagues the town vampire style, before the film reaches, to be honest it’s rather inauspicious climax.

I’d be lying if I said Nosferatu isn’t at all dated (1921!!), it is, and that’s really part of its appeal. If you’re a fan of horror and want to see where it all started I’d definitely suggest checking it out, it looks and sounds great on a decent surround sound system. The extras however I would leave alone. The documentary on Murnau (The Language of shadows…) would be interesting, however it is narrated by possibly the most boring American man I have ever heard (think teacher from Ferris Buellar). Unless listening to university lecturers verbally wank off a dead German is a major turn on I’d leave the commentary off also!